I love McDonald's. No, it ain't the greatest food on Earth, but as junk food goes, it's edible enough, and you always know what you're gonna get. Disaster movies are the cinematic equivalent of McDonald's...fast food, meant to be quickly consumed, enjoyed and forgotten about. People don't watch disaster movies thinking they're gonna see another "Schindler's List." They watch for the same reason they go to McDonald's. In that respect, "The Core" is as good as any other disaster movie ever made, with the exact same ingredients...lots of destruction, huge special effects, stupid dialogue, cardboard characters and a silly story. But that's what makes this movie fun...it's utter predictability. After all, would a Big Mac still be a Big Mac if they suddenly decided to add tomatoes?

The plot of this one is more-or-less "Armageddon"-in-reverse (only without as much testosterone). Earth's inner core has stopped rotating, and through much scientific mumbo-jumbo from scientist Josh Keyes (who ominously demonstrates the coming apocalypse with the aid of a piece of fruit, a lighter and a can of deodorant), we learn that this means the end of all life on Earth within several months. The solution? Why, have an elite team burrow to the molten core and detonate nuclear bombs in order to jump-start the planet, of course. A phallic-shaped vessel is quickly constructed for such a task, loaded with all the usual suspects: the no-nonsense, dedicated pilot "Beck" Childs (Hillary Swank), geophysicists Keyes and Conrad Zimsky (Aaron Eckhart & Stanley Tucci), one which is dedicated to his work, the other who's a glory-hound, an eccentric ship's designer "Braz" Brazelton (Delroy Lindo). Also on-board are a few folks whose sole purpose in the film is to die. Monitoring events on the surface (i.e. those who are paid to ominously react to what's going on below) are: General Purcell (Richard Jenkins), who represents the evil military, NASA Chief Talma Stickly (Alfre Woodard), the resident symbol of morality who exists to gasp in horror at the actions of General Purcell, and Rat (D.J. Qualls), the lovably flaky computer geek whose job it is to prevent the story from breaking to the general public. With all the stock characters in place, it's time to go drilling! Meanwhile, there's awful doings on the surface...Rome is decimated by an electromagnetic storm, and San Francisco is utterly cooked by solar rays that pierce the atmosphere, two sequences which feature the obligatory, post-"Independence Day" destruction of famous landmarks. As the film lumbers on, we discover that the current global crisis is the result of experiments conducted by that dreaded evil empire, the U.S. Military, whom of course, appear oblivious to the consequences of their actions. If you've seen "Independence Day," "Deep Impact," "Armageddon, " (or any other 90's disaster epic), then you've already seen "The Core," even if you've never physically sat and watched it. I don't necessarily mean that comment as criticism. In fact, it's probably the greatest praise I can bestow upon the film; I love this crap, much like my wife when she eats up the latest variation of the same old Sandra Bullock romantic comedy over and over. Sometimes you don't WANT anyone tweaking with a formula. "The Core" is the epitome of by-the-numbers filmmaking, incorporating every element (and all the clich

This is a typically great Paramount DVD release. Besides, I guess it's mandatory that any modern special effects filmdealing with the end of the world would have both a great picture and sound, and "The Core" doesn't disappoint. The picture is free of dust, grain, blemishes or scratches. The soundtrack is equally good, with no hissing or distortion. It's is a disc just begging to be cranked at fillings-loosening volume.

Of late, Paramount has been pretty good with the inclusion of extra features on their DVD releases, and this is a good example. There's a feature-length commentary by the director, which is pretty good, though not the most entertaining commentary I've ever heard. Also included are two docuentaries, the first being "To the Core and Back," a typical featurette which features the ambitions of the filmmakers, as well as the obligatory gushings of the actors involved. Movie purists will enjoy the other documentary more, which concentrates on the visual effects of the film. There are also 10 deleted or expanded scenes, along with commentary by Amiel, which will surely please die-hard fans of the movie (but will bore nearly everyone else). And, of course, as November looms, there are trailers for a few other releases, the most notable being the "Indiana Jones" trilogy.

Despite everything critical thing I've had to say, I really liked "The Core," much like I 've enjoyed every Big Mac I've ever eaten. Sometimes there's comfort in familiarity, and this movie is probably the best example of cinematic comfort food I've seen since "Die Another Day." Too bad the disc doesn't include a small plastic toy...then it would be the perfect Happy Meal.