A "March of the Penguins" spoof with Samuel L. 'Motherf**kin' Jackson as the narrator? Even if the brains behind this one is comedian Bob Saget (still best known for providing pointless commentary on "America's Funniest Home Videos"), "Farce of the Penguins" sounds like a sure thing, especially with the line-up of comic talent providing voice-overs. But after watching for less than 10 minutes, you'll understand why "Farce of the Penguins" went straight to video. This is one bad movie...a distressingly unfunny waste of time and talent that could have been scripted by middle schoolers who think anatomical slang and the f-word are inherently hilarious. The film is almost mesmerizing in its sheer awfulness.

"Farce" uses stock nature footage to tell a similar story to "March," only in addition to Jackson's narration, the penguins are all voiced by a slew of comedic actors, including Lewis Black, Whoopi Goldberg, Tracy Morgan, Mo-Nique, Christina Applgate (and dozens of others who provide cameo voices). Here, the emphasis is on two penguins' 70 mile quest to mate. Carl (Saget) is more interested in falling in love, while buddy Jimmy (Black) doesn't understand why Carl doesn't simply do what nature compels all penguins to do...eat, mate, hatch an egg, dump the girl, start all over. There are a few scattered laughs here and there, but the 'hilarious' dialogue is mostly stupid and embarrassing. The script is loaded with crude dialogue and scatological jokes that are almost never funny. And once the 'fourth wall' is broken and the script starts clumsily reminding us we're watching a film (the stuff Mel Brooks could do in his sleep 30 years ago), it feels more like an act of desperation than invention. It's a shame, really, because one could mine a pretty funny film using nature footage, but you'd be better off turning down the sound on "March of the Penguins" and providing your own dialogue. You couldn't do any worse. Most of the blame falls on writer/director/star Saget, who's snickeringly stupid script is packed with gags that were cliche twenty years ago...such as the lispy gay penguin, the well-hung black penguin (complete with grating 'yeeah buoooy!' voice work from Morgan), the 'you-go-girl!' black penguin, etc. Worse yet, Saget has no idea what to do with the enormous cast of talent he's assembled, all of whom must have either owed him a favor, or they lost a bet. Black is particularly wasted; he's one of the funniest guys on the planet, but Saget saddles him with some truly stupid dialogue that doesn't even try to exploit his comic persona (but in Saget's defense, no other director has either). Only Jackson, as the narrator, manages to get some laughs trading in on his image.

The overall picture is pretty bad, mainly because in consists mostly of stock footage of varying quality. The sound is okay, rendered in 5.1 Dolby Surround, but nothing really remarkable.

Saget provides an audio commentary, and it's pretty clear he thinks the film is pretty damn funny. Then again, even in his days as a TV host and stand-up comic, I always had the impression he was his own biggest fan. "To the Earth's Ice-Hole" (snicker-snicker) is a dumb 15-minute interview with Saget, in character as a director in Antarctica. The only interesting extra is a 10 minute behind-the-scenes montage, which shows a lot of his cast doing their voice work. Also included are some deleted scenes and trailers for this & other movies.

"Farce of the Penguins" is a juvenile, dumb and crude film that wastes a huge cast, who are saddled with a script by a guy whose concept of humor must have peaked in seventh grade. A rolling train-wreck of a movie, the viewer will likely be awestruck by how bad it is. Not recommended. Useless Trivia: Saget managed to recruit former "Full House" co-stars John Stamos, Dave Coullier and Lori Loughlin to provide voices for some characters. Similar Movies/Shows: "March of the Penguins"; "Mystery Science Theater 3000"