It's sort of ironic that Michael Bay's best movie is the only one to tank in theaters. Before "The Island," Bay's true talent as a director has been to throw so much hyper-edited pyrotechnic spectacle at us that we're overwhelmed, enough so that movies like "Armageddon" & "Pearl Harbor" momentarily seem like better movies than they really are. They usually get worse with repeated viewings, mainly because once you take away Bay's bombs, stuntmen & caffeine-ridden editors, what's left is bad dialogue, cardboard characters, over-the-top performances & every movie cliche you'd care to name. So saying "The Island" is Bay's best film might be faint praise, especially when it, too, is long, loud and loaded with bombastic action, vertigo-inducing editing, cardboard characters & budget-busting visual effects. Yet, along with Bay's usual assortment of technical toys is a fairly interesting (if not too original) story that gets surprising amount of screen time before the movie inevitably descends into the expected cavalcade of destruction.

The year is 2019. Ewan McGregor plays Lincoln Six Echo, one of thousands of childlike idiots who live & work in a massive enclosed city, protected from a so-called contamination that's destroyed the outside world. Every aspect of their lives is monitored and policed, and questioning any authority is looked upon as a crime, as is eating the wrong foods or becoming too intimate with another city dweller, which makes life difficult for Lincoln, since he has the hots for Jordan Two Delta (Scarlett Johansson). Their only hope for escape is an idyllic island (unaffected by the contamination) reserved for the lucky few whom, if chosen by a daily lottery, are permitted to leave their drone-like existence to live in paradise for the rest of their lives. Of course, we quickly learn that there is no island, and that Lincoln, Jordan and the rest of the population are clones, raised and monitored by Dr. Merrick (Sean Bean), who has developed a lucrative business...for five million dollars, people can extend their own lives by cloning themselves and harvesting the clone's organs when their own begin to peter out. Merrick uses the lottery to dupe his clones into thinking they're on their way to paradise, when in reality it's simply harvest time. Lincoln discovers the truth because of a flaw in the "Echo" series of clones (in which they repeatedly question the system). After witnessing a few horrific instances where "lottery" winners are harvested of their organs and killed, he fears for Jordan's life, who has just been announced as the latest lottery winner. He finds her and the two manage to escape to the outside world, which is not decimated by contamination as they were told. Merrick hires mercenary Albert Laurent (Djimon Hounsou) and his elite strike team to hunt them down, while Lincoln & Jordan go to Los Angeles to try to locate their real-life counterparts in order to expose Merrick's illegal cloning activities (clients are told their clones remain vegetables, never achieving consciousness). This leads to an elaborate & destructive chase through L.A., in which Laurent's squad (who have to be the most inept 'elite' group ever assembled) try to capture or kill the renegade clones before Merrick's secret is discovered. Meanwhile, Lincoln meets his 'sponsor' (also played by McGregor), who is killed while attempting to double-cross him. Rather than permanently assume his sponsor's identity (since they are identical), Lincoln feels he needs to go back and save the thousands of clones still under Merrick's guard. The plot bares more than a passing resemblance to "Logan's Run" and "The Clonus Horror" (the producers of the latter have even filed a lawsuit claiming such). A more intriguing and original story would have been to see how Lincoln's life unfolds after permanently assuming his sponsor's identity, but this is a Michael Bay film, and such a story wouldn't really permit him to blow stuff up. So it comes as no surprise when the plot is mostly shoved aside in the second hour to make room for huge action scenes. Bay never met a building or vehicle he didn't destroy, and we get a ton of lovingly-choreographed explosions, gun fights and chase scenes. These sequences are handled with the usual MTV-style flash, but they'll also remind us of other movies (the extended freeway chase, in particular, looks a lot like the one from "The Matrix Reloaded"). The climactic showdown is also kind of stupid. Not only does the underground clone city seem to be easier to break into and out of than a house with no doors, but Merrick's character suddenly goes from being a cold & calculating doctor to a butt-kicking bad-ass just so we can watch a mano-y-mano fight between him and Lincoln (while the building falls apart around them, of course). Still, the overall concept of the plot (and admittedly great action scenes) goes a long way in allowing us to forgive the various lapses in logic. It must also be noted that "The Island" might very well boast the dubious record of featuring more product-placement than any other film in recent memory, such as X-Box, MSN, Amtrak, Dodge, Michelob, etc.

The movie is presented in a 2.40:1 aspect ratio, enhanced for widescreen TVs, and for the most part, it looks terrific, with sharp lines, accurate black tones and vibrant color. The sound, of course, is outstanding, rendered in 5.1 Dolby Digital, with good balance, clarity and center speaker sound. If nothing else, "The Island" sports one of the better audio transfers I've heard this year.

Director Michael Bay provides a full length audio commentary. It won't come as any surprise that he's more in love with the action set-pieces than the story, but he does provide some interesting info about the technical side of the film. The other feature is a 15 minute segment covering the action sequences, with plenty of behind-the-scenes footage; I had to chuckle at Bay's first comment, in which he allegedly told the screenwriters to simply write 'action' in places which require such scenes, and that he'd fill in the blanks himself. Whether he was boasting or conceding, I've never heard a more accurate self-assessment of one's career.

Michael Bay has always had more balls than talent, and in all likelihood looked at this story as yet-another platform with which to demonstrate his skills at shooting mindless destruction. Still, whether accidently or by design, he actually managed to put together a decent film. Though a box-office flop, "The Island," however derivative, is likely to stand up to repeated viewings more than his other films, mainly because there's a pretty decent story lurking just beneath all the flash and special effects. Similar Movies: "Parts: The Clonus Horror"; "Logan's Run"; "The Matrix"; "Total Recall"