Neither of these episodes are the best examples of what Showtime's great anthology series has to offer horror fans. I've always loved the show because, even though some individual episodes aren't always original (or even scary), and every now and then, some are outstanding. Unfortunately, these two are not. Both are well-made by directors who have done some great work in the past, but the stories are very derivative, and no effort is really made to put a new spin on familiar material.

"We All Scream for Ice Cream" is the better of the two, and is almost as fun as it sounds. The story concerns slow-witted ice cream truck clown, Buster (William Forsythe), who dies as the result of a cruel prank by some local boys. He later comes back to exact his revenge on them as adults, by enticing their children into by buying ice cream that, if eaten, will melt their parents into oblivion. The film is atmospheric, fast moving & well directed by Tom Holland ("Child's Play"), and features the usual gross-out segments "Master of Horror" is known for. But the plot itself, even though based on a John Farris story, will remind most viewers of something Stephen King might have written in his starving artist years. Camping things up a bit might have helped, but for the most part, everything is played straight. And aside from Forsythe, the performances are fairly pedestrian. "Valerie on the Stairs," based on a Clive Barker short story, commits a worse crime by being unoriginal AND boring. In this one, a frustrated young writer moves into a rundown commune for unpublished authors, only to find the place is 'haunted' by a beautiful young woman enslaved by a lustful demon (Tony Todd). It turns out both are characters from an in-progress novel by three of the authors living there, and have now come to life. Being that it's based on a Clive Barker story, there's the usual quotient of sex and graphic violence. Writer/Director (and "MoH" series creator) Mick Garris presents both quite effectively (especially in a sequence in which a character has his spine pulled out through his mouth). But this is a familiar path that's been traveled so many times before, even in a previous "MoH" episode ("Dreams of the Witch House"), that we just don't get involved much. Aside from the sex and violence, "Valerie on the Stairs" doesn't provide much of an argument for its existence.

Starz/Anchor Bay has done another great job with the transfer of these episodes. Both are presented in 1.78:1 widescreen, belying their TV origins, and sport accurate black tones & a blemish-free picture. The audio rendered in 5.1 & 2.0 Dolby Surround. In short, these "Masters of Horror" episodes looks and sounds as good as any feature film you'd care to mention.

Both discs feature audio commentaries by the directors, and decent 15 minute making-of documentaries, with comments & interviews with the cast & crew. "Scream" also includes a short piece on the make-up effects, while "Valerie" includes one on the editing process, as well as a text bio on Garris. As with all other "MoH" DVD releases, there are photo galleries (does anyone actually ever look at these?), and the screenplays on DVD-ROM.

Neither of these episodes are what you'd call terrible. They just don't measure up to some of the best ones "Masters of Horror" has served up in the past, mainly because both tread such familiar ground. "We All Scream for Ice Cream" is the better of the two, since it's faster moving and more fun. While both films are, of course, recommended for "MoH" completists, casual fans and the curious are advised seek out better episodes from the series.