Just in time for consideration by members of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences, Columbia/Tri-Star unleashes two of their leading Oscar contenders on DVD. But before we get to these fine films, I'd like to discuss my mother, who unwittingly provided me the opportunity to check them out... My mother lives, eats & breathes Christmas. I believe she starts shopping sometime in March, and commences wrapping packages in September, done up so immaculately that you're almost afraid to open them. And every year she asks for a Christmas list from me, her only son, but said list is purely procedure - every year I send a list that includes DVDs I'd like, which she almost never buys. She pretty much has her game plan already laid out, because even though I'm now in my 40s, she loves to dress and accessorize me. But, God bless her, she also thinks I'm still in high school, and tries to dress me as such. Hence, I get a lot of stuff that may look good on the average single guy still cruising dance clubs, but makes me feel like a f**king idiot to wear it. Don't get me wrong. I love clothes, and deeply appreciate the effort she puts into my wardrobe, especially since she generally pays a lot more than I would have for the same stuff (my mom is a confirmed Nordstrom junkie...you know, place where you can purchase a pair of socks for $25.00). So anyway, this year she gave me a pair of black slacks from Nordstrom, which I promptly returned and was able to get three shirts & a pair of cargo pants from Target, along with two DVDs, Resident Evil: Apocalypse and Anacondas: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid . I normally wouldn't have shelled out my own cash for them, and Columbia doesn't send us screeners, otherwise these two guilty pleasures would already be proudly displayed in my DVD collection. But the originals were fun the way spinning around in the yard until you're dizzy is fun, so I figured...what the hell.

It seems prudent to combine these two non-classics in the same review, and not just because they were purchased at the same time on the same dollar, courtesy of Dave Anderson's mom. There are actually quite a few similarities between them, which I'm sure has the Academy racking their brains regarding which one to bestow the Oscar accolades. Anyway, if you'll indulge me, consider the following: Both movies are high-concept summer releases from Columbia Pictures, calculated to draw in the bored 13-18 year-old crowd, who'll shell out just enough cash for both to turn a small-but-tidy profit. Both movies are just violent enough for those same teenagers to consider cool. Neither film is very original, both treading creative ground that's been covered better by the likes of George A. Romero ( Dawn of the Dead ) & Stephen Spielberg ( Jaws, Jurassic Park ). Both movies are sequels, but seeing the first ones aren't really required for you to enjoy either. This is especially true with Anacondas ; aside from the setting, and the oversized hungry reptiles, there's nothing here related to the original. Both films are, for the most part, just a good (or bad) as the originals, meaning fans will find more of the same to love here. Those who hated the originals will hate these, too. Both movies share essentially the same plot. In Resident Evil , our heroes are called upon to rescue the daughter of a genetic researcher and escape Racoon City before it is nuked, or they are eaten by zombies. In Anacondas , our heroes are called upon to locate the Blood Orchid, a rare flower containing properties promising eternal youth (" It'll be bigger than Viagra! " chimes one pharmaceutical investor), before they are eaten by giant snakes. Zombie & snakes aren't the only things threatening the lives of our heroes. In Resident Evil , they must also content with "lickers," mutant dogs, and some weird-ass armored mutant called Nemesis, which looks a lot like a gooey Rockem Sockem Robot. In Anacondas , alligators, stone spiders ( oooooh! ), and a treacherous waterfall threaten to spoil everyone's fun before the snakes even make an appearance. Despite their goofy premises, both movies, more-or-less, takes themselves seriously. Both feature hot babes whose characters are basically required to be hot babes. Of the two, Resident Evil has a slightly higher hot babe quotient (Milla Jovovich & Sienna Gullory), since they carry guns, kick ass and sport costumes more practical for lap dancing than monster hunting. Anacondas' primary hot babe, KaDee Strickland, looks like she was hired because she bares a striking resemblance to Jennifer Lopez, who starred in the original Anaconda . But unlike J-Lo, Strickland's character mostly exists to bitch & scream. Both movies feature a contrived "cute" character that exists in the script to be placed in peril, but we know they'll be okay because they are cute; in Resident Evil , it's a nine-year-old girl; in Anacondas , it is a fuzzy little monkey named Kong (who actually turns in the best performance in the film). Both films feature comic relief in the form of a wise-cracking African-American. Both movies feature villains who commit deeds of unspeakable evil in the name of greed. Of the two, Resident Evil's villain is the one we hate the most, simply because he's willing to kill millions of innocent people instead of a few partners (the latter of whom are obnoxious enough that we hope they do die). And I don't think I'm giving much away when I say both films do a good job of making us appreciate both villains' horrible deaths at the end. Neither film features Jon Voight. While that really makes no difference in the case of Resident Evil , his scenery-chewing performance was by-far the best part of the original Anaconda . On the plus side, neither film features Vin Diesel either, even though both of these movies seem like the type of stuff he'd be willing to star in. Both rely on extensive CGI effects, though the ones in Resident Evil are considerably better. The giant snakes in Anacondas look about as phony as they did in the original, seven years ago. Both are movies we would never admit to intellectuals how much we enjoyed them.

Another reason for combining these two movies in one review is the fact that both have been given equally good picture and sound renderings. They are presented in both 2.40:1 widescreen and 1.33:1 fullscreen on the same disc, rather than pointlessly releasing each version on different discs. Both images are quite good, with little or no artifacts, blemishes or scratches. Both movies are offered in 5.1 Dolby Digital, and feature good balance & clarity, with no distortion.

Ah, this is where the similarities end. Probably because of the plethora of zombie & video game geeks, Resident Evil features a much more extensive array of special features, including three audio commentaries by various cast & crew members (such as Jovovich, director Alexander Witt & screenwriter Paul W.S. Anderson, who directed the first Resident Evil ). Also included is a six-part making-of documentary, was well as three more short featurettes about women in action roles, special effects & the fictional Umbrella Corporation. Some bloopers, 20 deleted scenes and a poster gallery are featured as well. All Anacondas really offers is a making-of featurette, which is simply okay, and some deleted scenes. Not bad, but nothing compared to the extras stuffed onto the two discs of Resident Evil .

Similar Movies: Resident Evil: Apocalypse - Resident Evil; Dawn of the Dead (2004); 28 Days Later; Escape from New York . Anacondas: The Hunt for the Black Orchid - Anaconda; Python; Jurassic Park; Jaws Summary: Both Resident Evil: Apocalypse & Anacondas: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid manage to be entertaining in spite of themselves, guilty pleasures for which you disengage your brain and simply have a good time. Thanks to my mom and her Nordstrom credit card, these two gems are mine to treasure forever...or subject my intellectual enemies to.