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Written by Nick Lyons   
Monday, 10 March 2008


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Grade

Content Grade: F
Sound Grade: n/a
Extras Grade: n/a
Picture Grade: n/a

Specs

Disc Length: 90 Minutes

Review

"Revamped" is an atrocious low budget horror comedy with very few redeeming qualities.

The story: After finding out his wife cheated on him, Richard dials 1 800 BITE ME with the hope that he can become bitten by a vampire in order to seek revenge against his wife. After his death, however, his plan backfires when he becomes cremated. Not too long after, Richard is resurrected where he finds himself caught up into a dark underworld filled with a violent group of vamps called Bleeders, a vampire swat team (STAKE), and half-breeds whom Richard decides to help out.

 

In keeping with the spirit of the lame puns in this film, let me start off by saying "Revamped" sucks. Jeff Rector simply cannot act, write, or direct to save his life. His direction resembles that of an amateur who never picked up a camera before. His script tries to be a witty horror comedy, but comes off as an embarrassing cutting room floor "Saturday Night Live" sketch. On top of that, Rector tries to portray himself as an action hero, but he's anything but. It's no wonder he stars in his own movies because there's no way any self respecting casting director would hire this guy.

 

The only semi-entertaining aspect of this film is seeing cameos by the likes of Reggie Bannister ("Phantasm"), Billy Drago, Kato Kaelin, Dennis Haskins ("Saved By The Bell"), and Carel Struycken.

 

I reviewed a screener copy so I did not comment on the picture or audio quality.


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